As we get older, people say that Christmas seems to get less magical. I've always been excited about the 25th of December. Even now as an adult. When I was counting down the days this year i was thinking more about the purpose of the whole event.
I wrote how Christmas for me would be spent doing more happy things that made me feel better about myself. I figured that Christmas 2016 would be less about caring about what other people think you should do for the event, and the things I actually wanted to do.
For the past 2 years I have spent Christmas in a state of being quite sick. I would start to get ill in the days before Christmas and then, like last year, need to take long nap during the day. I felt like this would be a waste for my Christmas but it is something my body wouldn’t let me get away with. It would also make me feel a lot less christmassy. When you are suffering with a serious cold and painful aches, it is understandably hard to get into any kind of spirit. I wouldn’t be happy either which wasn’t good. I rely on being happy even if it’s just a little bit at least for Christmas day.
Yesterday I woke up happy that the day was finally here. I lay for a moment to assess whether I was actually sick this year and to my pure joy I really wasn’t. There was no cough or aching, sickness or headache. It made me feel incomprehensibly happy.
I had a light breakfast and a tasty hot chocolate with whipped cream to boost my morning spirits. I wore a Christmas jumper with pom pom baubles that used to light up but now no longer did. I was ready. My mum was upstairs putting on her make-up for the day (there would be many photos). For gifts, I received many different art supplies, technologies including a virtual reality headset and a make your own robot kit as a novelty present.
Quite convenient as a practical present, I also received a knitted mermaid tail that was immediately put into use to keep me warm. I liked to feel comfortable and warm on Christmas because that reflected what i felt inside. This year may not have been the best but even at this point in the day I knew that this Christmas was the best I had in years.
At about 9pm, my eldest sister came round with a bag full of presents to give other family members and a small, book shaped one for me! My other sister was at her stepmothers house with my two nephews until 12pm. My brother would also be arriving at ours about that time. They were coming to ours for Christmas dinner. Until then, at a time where we would give the majority of presents, we relaxed.
We watched Christmas television like The last dragon slayer, which prepared us for the day ahead by injecting even more of that spirit into us and our environment.
In the kitchen my mum was busy cooking and stressing at different points throughout the morning. She shared the very mum like anxieties of if there would be enough food and if it would be cooked in time. I always gelt such stresses only distracted from what the day is actually supposed to be about but throughout this I kept myself occupied by working on a large scale drawing using some colouring pencils I had received that morning.
The Christmas dinner was a success. As always I ate my dinner with a paper party hat on my head and a focus on eating the meal knowing how much hard work had been put into it. Christmas dinner should never be just a meal. It’s about having family close to you as you eat. It’s never just about food. Who cares if you can’t afford a turkey or don’t have the cooking skills to prepare a 5 course meal for many people.
You don’t need to. It’s about having a decent meal with people you care about and love or people who you know care about you in a way that makes you feel warm inside.
I had gradually become a lot more focused on progressing with my pencil drawing that had now evolved in to an intricate work in progress around an original idea. when I get into something, regardless of what other people consider as important I dedicate myself to it until I can’t anymore. This has become quite frustrating for me when I get fatigued from being ill. I always thing I can do more than is actually possible for me. So it’s upsetting when you realise you can’t finish something you used to be able to.
When everyone had arrived we proceeded to open presents. The day was now mostly for the younger children in our family. It was great to see them open all the presents they had and see their faces light up every time they received another gift. I sat there thinking this is what Christmas was really all about. It's not supposed to be hard or serious. Christmas is happiness.
From my sister I was gifted a sponge bob squarepants themed monopoly. It may sound odd, but I like sponge bob squarepants and I maintain my childlike innocent. There will never be anything wrong with that. That evening I tried out the new game by playing a 2 hour game of monopoly with my mum, she won.
Christmas this year was great. It will always be about family. At least for me it will be anyway. I maintain my view that Christmas doesn't necessarily need to be about celebrating the birth of somebody I think is a fictional character. It's not about religion for a lot of people and that isn't a bad thing. Maybe people just want a celebration, a time for happiness. Relief from the mundane of reality.
I'm looking forward to 2017 now, I hope for a better year.
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